May it be Your will, God, to place us in an illumined corner and not to place us in a darkened one. Let our heart not be sick nor our eyes darkened. —Berachot 17a
When reading these lines from our Talmud ascribed to Rabbi Alexandri, I get the sense that he prayed for hope and comfort not simply because he feared darkness in the abstract but because he himself knew dark days, times of heavy-heartedness or even depression. His words of kavannah, of intention, are not words of prayer from our established daily order of blessings but inspired words of spontaneous prayer spoken directly from the heart.
Last month, my brother and sister-in-law (at 37 weeks pregnant) both tested positive for COVID-19. Thank God they are feeling much better and have since tested negative! But during the two weeks that they were sick, my family and I felt so powerless, as I know so many in our community have felt becoming sick or seeing loved ones fall sick this past year. Unable to comfort or tend to them in person, we shared in the modern gifts of FaceTime and texting. And every evening, with inspiration from ancestors like Rabbi Alexandri, I prayed from the bottom of my heart that they would recover. My prayers themselves did not make the illness disappear, but the opportunity to share with God the deepest worries of my heart offered me comfort, and knowing they were in the prayers and good thoughts of others gave my sister-in-law and brother great strength.
Prayers cannot end this pandemic or the woes of our world but they can begin to heal our broken hearts, calm our deep worries, and illuminate the dark corners of our lives. What would you say to God (or just to yourself) in a prayer at this very moment? May we allow ourselves time each day for reflection, illumination, and healing.
— Cantor Emma Lutz