This week’s Kavanot focus on some of the core concepts of the Jewish Mussar practice, called middot. To learn more visit the website.
Equanimity: מנוחת הנפש – Menuchat Ha’Nefesh
Honor: כבוד – Kavod
כַּבֵּד אֶת-אָבִיךָ, וְאֶת-אִמֶּךָ
“Honor your father and your mother.”
—Exodus 20:12
The word כבוד (honor) describes an orientation towards one’s parents which—on the surface—seems quite basic. However, the same word is used in the Torah to describe an appearance of God. It was said that כבוד (kavod) of God occupied the interior section of the ancient tabernacle (mishkan) to the extent that Moses couldn’t enter (Exodus 40:34). In Hebrew, the same word is used to speak about something having physical weight (see this essay about kavod by a certain Rabbi “Josh” Zweiback). Ultimately, we might say that the word means that something is weighty, or of value. So, when we use the word כבוד to speak about something—whether it be parents or God or another person—we are saying that we show them the merit or value they deserve.
The rabbis said:
יְהִי כְבוֹד חֲבֵרְךָ חָבִיב עָלֶיךָ כְּשֶׁלָּךְ
“Let your honor be as dear to you as your companion’s.”
—Avot 2:13
We have all been in places where we felt that our personhood was not honored, whether by a family member or by someone we expected to treat us in a particular way. Likely, we were hurt or angry. Perhaps we lashed out because, in some way, we felt wounded. Our equanimity ( מנוחת הנפש) was disrupted by the actions of another.
In the command to honor one’s fellow as we would want to be honored ourselves, the ancient rabbis remind us of the importance of honoring others, whether they be the valet at a restaurant or a person with whom we disagree passionately. Hopefully, by remembering how our own souls are disrupted when others fail to honor us, we can show greater honor (value, weight, and merit) to others in our day-to-day interactions.
— Rabbi Ron Stern