The mystics of our tradition saw great meaning in the counting of the Omer, which is marked each night between Passover and Shavuot. In its cycle of seven days, counted seven times, they saw a parallel to the sefirot, the system by which the Kabbalists understood the Divine attributes. Each week is dedicated to a particular attribute, and each day of that week focuses on the intersection of two Divine attributes. This week, the first of the Omer, we focus on chesed: lovingkindness or compassion.

Today is the second day of the Omer*
Gevurah she-b’chesed—Discipline in kindness

Years ago, on a teen hiking tour, we ended each day with a sharing circle—we each shared a highlight of the day, a lowlight of the day, and a hero of the day. While I am sure I rolled my eyes as a teen, it turns out that I have kept up that practice for myself (at least in my mind and occasionally a journal), and now, it is part of my daily parenting routine. “What were the best parts of your day?” I ask. “Which parts were hard? Who is someone who made your day better?”

This year, though, I added a question, inspired by renowned Jewish educator Dr. Bruce Powell. Speaking to our Wise School parents on the first day of school, Dr. Powell talked about this practice:

Typically, when a child comes home from school, what does the parent ask? ‘How was your day? What did you learn today?’ How many of us ask, ‘Did you do a mitzvah today? Were you kind to anybody today? Did you invite somebody to sit with you at lunch today?’ What would happen if we [started] to ask those questions? That’s one way of teaching kindness …

Like exercise or prayer, kindness is a practice—it must be taught, it must be tried, it must be tested. It means we are going to fail sometimes, and hopefully learn from those failures. Exercise requires discipline. So does prayer. And—our mystics understood—kindness does too.

And so, each day, I ask my children: What’s the kindest thing you did today? And I hope that, regardless of the answer, they will grow up to ask themselves the same question.

​​​​​​​—Rabbi Sari Laufer

* Because the Omer is counted in the evening, today is the second day. Tonight, we will count the third night.